Imperfect Spells I'm Perfect
by ValkyrieAce
Summary: "Even if his inflicted idea of perfectionism didn't change, he'd really do his best to love Harry as his imperfect self." Warning for slash, slight mentions of psychological abuse regarding perfectionism and the inability to cope with stressful situations. Please read and review!


_Author's Note:_ _I would like to give a huge thank you to my betas – Bex and Sam – for being absolutely lovely about beta-ing at the last minute. And really, I gotta stop doing that, it's killing me and inconveniencing the betas. I would also like to thank my baby sister for giving me the idea for the title._

 _Please read and review if you have anything to say!_

 _Warning for slash, if that is needed, and slight mentions of inability to cope with the stress of life. There isn't any mention of magic, so take that as you will. I'd consider it a mix of both magic and muggle life. He still had no parents and was still pursued by a madman and won._

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 **Imperfect Spells I'm Perfect** by ValkyrieAce

Theodore Nott stared at his surroundings, partly in wonder and partly from a sense of growing fear. Subconsciously, he realized that he should be more dignified – more professional, less imperfect – in his response, but it took effort not to gawk at the scene in front of him. Effort he didn't really want to waste if he was to get on this unstable terrain.

Harry had brought them to an ice rink for their two-year anniversary date. The ice was smooth and incandescent under the pale glow of the moonlight, and the rink encircled the ice to perfect its circular finish. A fountain was built into the center of the rink, independent of the ice that surrounded it. Water continuously flowed down the ceramic plating and was, in itself, a marvelous piece, but with the skaters sitting on its rim for a break, it possessed a warmer atmosphere. People – couples, especially – filled the space on the ice, moving elegantly as though they were dancing to a waltz.

It was a breathtaking sight, and he was confident he would have enjoyed it even more if he was not expected to be in it. Theo held back a shudder at the thought of being a public embarrassment.

Minutely recovering from his shock, he turned to his boyfriend. Harry Potter wasn't looking at him directly, but Theo could see the remnants of a smug little smirk tilt at his lips.

"Happy almost New Year?" Harry said, his voice betraying the amusement he felt at the receiving end of Theo's glare.

Theo gave him a long suffering look as he leant over to adjust the maroon scarf on Harry's neck, the fidgeting giving away his nervousness. "You can't actually be serious about this," he said, his tone surprisingly holding strong.

Harry grinned – and Theo had to catch his breath at the sheer happiness he radiated – as he lifted two pair of ice skates.

Theo sighed and looked to the snow-covered ground. "You know I'll be too worried about embarrassing myself to fully enjoy this, right?" Theo asked sadly.

Harry nodded, his face grim at the seriousness of this issue. "It's okay if you don't skate perfectly at the moment, or even enjoy the experience," Harry reasoned with a slight smile, "I'll still be with you the entire time."

Harry carefully pulled Theo's hand away from his scarf, holding it gently to allow him the escape, should he need it. Theo felt his stress melt under the intensity of his blush, even if it was only a little bit.

While Harry did help with some of the other insecurities his father had beaten into him, his inability to cope with stress had never really gone away. To this day, he fumbled and bordered on the edge of tears at the sound of his father's demands. He'd been told to be perfect enough times – that men don't cry, only responding to such situations with professionalism his family is prided for – that the idea that he was not would only devastate him; the idea that he was not needed if he wasn't perfect had broken him more than once.

Harry tugged at his hand and, unconsciously, he had led them to a bench where they were able to slide into their skates and leave their shoes in a cubbyhole by the entrance of the rink.

Theo's heart stuttered as he took his first step into the ice, the situation finally sinking in. He didn't believe he could do this. Any failures on his part would bring eternal shame on his family. And Merlin knew what his father would do to him if he did. Even worse, would he be less of a man to Harry if he failed?

His legs took another step as he clutched onto the railing of the rink and inhaled shakily, soothed by the positive turn his experience was taking. Theo looked for Harry, who was only now entering the rink with a suspiciously cautious look clouding his emerald eyes. Theo blanched and watched with wide eyes as Harry tripped over his ice skates, caught himself from falling on his face with his ungloved hands, then fell anyways as the cold burn of the ice seeped into his skin.

And all of this took place a hand's reach away from Theo.

Harry stood swiftly, trying to gain his balance and doing his best to look unaffected despite the trickle of blood dripping from his nostril.

"I'm okay!" he yelled, grabbing onto the rail with one hand as he approached Theo slowly. "I'm totally fi–ah!"

Harry had tripped, once again, but he saved himself from injuring his face by holding onto the rail even tighter. In a less abrupt fashion, he landed on his bottom painlessly.

Theo only had to take one look at Harry – with his pinked and injured nose, his charcoal coloured hair wild with bits of shaved ice lodged in between, the slight pout on his lips, and the way he crossed his arms dramatically – before he started to giggle. It soon transformed into a chuckle, then full blown laughter that had him clutching at his stomach and with distant memories of an action called breathing.

Harry looked up at him, looking very unamused. Soon after, his pout deepened, but his eyes shone with mirth and happiness. Upon seeing this, Theo slowly stumbled next to him and kneeled, his chuckles slowing into a genuine smile as he procured a handkerchief from his jacket pocket.

Dabbing Harry's nose with it, he let out a happy sigh. "Why didn't you tell me that you didn't know how to skate either?" Theo asked, confused about such an unexpected detail being hidden from him. "I really thought you already knew, considering you brought me here."

Behind the movements of the handkerchief, Theo could see that he was fighting a cheeky grin. "I never said I knew how to skate, and you didn't ask."

Theo, blushing, tilted Harry's head back and waited until the bleeding stemmed, very aware of the assumptions he had made.

A few minutes later, he stood on his skates with the aid of the rail, and he watched fondly as Harry did the same. He turned around to face the long stretch of the rail and bit his lip, surprised by the determination that had come over him. He would do it. He would learn how to navigate over this unbalanced terrain. And as he took his next few steps, then glides, with a few stumbles along the way, he felt that his stress, though it lurked heavily in his gut, eased away with every one of Harry's chuckles and exclamations of care.

And, two hours later, when they had finally learned to let go of the rail as they circled into figure eights, Theo came to a stop when fireworks lit up the sky above them. The greens, blues, and oranges cast a fiery glow over the rink, but on Harry, it was ephemeral with a bitter-sweetness unimaginable to him. It showed the strife he had overcome, the lengths he had to go to be himself, the love he had lost and gained. Theo skated towards Harry and held his hand gently.

It never hit him harder than then, that Theo had always believed that he was not good enough for Harry.

He didn't even believe he could overcome his issues with stress. Now or in the future.

He was only lucky enough to have Harry by his side, helping him with his issues with only the best of intentions, and he could see it with a sudden clarity now.

He burrowed his head into Harry's arm and sniffled, overcome with sadness and unworthiness and his being imperfect affecting another aspect of his life.

Suddenly, he felt Harry cup the back of his head tenderly. Looking up at him, Theo was struck by the seriousness on his face. He watched as Harry took in a deep breath.

"I think you're imperfect," he said, holding onto Theo as he froze in his arms. Theo felt as though his worst fears had been realized. Harry would never want to be with him now that he knows how imperfect he is. How he would never be anything more.

Tears stung at Theo's eyes and clouded his vision. Harry, however, smiled sadly and pulled him into a tight hug. He felt Harry press a kiss on his forehead and a few of the tears spilled over his cheeks, a sob threatening to claw its way out of his throat.

Harry pulled back and wiped away the tears that stained Theo's cheeks, then cleared his throat, looking insecure as their eyes met. "Imperfect spells 'I'm Perfect'." Harry said, a dark blush creeping up his neck, "and you certainly are perfect to me."

Theo's tears spilled over his cheeks again, only this time, it was out of happiness and contentment. He didn't really know if he could ever be perfect, but in that moment, he felt his misery and insecurities wash away.

He wanted to be perfect, he really did. But he was as fallible as any other human being. And it burned him to the core. But for Harry, he was enough. And that meant the world to him; it always will.

Personally, he still felt that Harry deserved so much more. It was something he felt he would always believe.

Theo hugged Harry tightly, consoling himself that his boyfriend was real and he had really just said that. And after, when Theo was sure of Harry's declaration, he leaned back and delivered a hard punch to his shoulder.

"Ow!" Harry exclaimed, looking affronted, "what was that for?"

"Don't ever start with the words 'You're imperfect,' you daft man," Theo replied, "it sounded as though you were spelling my doom."

Harry smirked cheekily and held Theo close to him. "You still love me though," Harry said as he met Theo's eyes, "don't you?"

Theo smiled fondly at his boyfriend and sighed. "Of course, I do. I always will."

Harry's eyes lit up beautifully against the moonlight, and Theo, who knew very well he may never get to see the joy radiate off Harry's face a second time, committed the image to his memory.

Even if his inflicted idea of perfectionism didn't change, he'd really do his best to love Harry as his imperfect self.

 **Fin**

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 **Word Count:** 1,745

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry Prompts:

Term #10: Assignment #1 – Demonology: Dante's Inferno, Task #9 – Heresy: Write about someone who doesn't believe in something.

365 Prompts – 248. Blush

The Insane Prompt Challenge – 124. Plot Point – Waiting in anticipation for something.

Yearly Scavenger Hunt – 51. Write a pairing you've never written before.

Herbology Hangout – (word) Wanted, (word) Lucky, (word) Maroon, (character) Theodore Nott

Games Club – 3rd – What Pharoah remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of fireworks. – Prompt: Fireworks.

Bath Bomb Making Workshop – 9. Ylang Ylang Oil – (character) Harry Potter and 14. Fennel Oil – (character) Theodore Nott

 **Winter Seasonal:**

Days of the Year – January 13th 2019 – International Skeptics Day: Write about someone not believing in something or someone.

Seasonal Challenge – Winter Challenge – (object) Ice Skates

Seasonal Challenge – Colour Prompts – Charcoal

Seasonal Challenge – Birthstones – Turquoise – (dialogue) "Erm… oops?"

Seasonal Challenge – Flowers – Holly – (object) Scarf

Seasonal Challenge – Water Element – (object) Fountain

Slytherin Challenge – Winter in Japan – Christmas (December 25th) – Dates: Write about people going on a date.

Slytherin Challenge – Slytherin Themed Prompts – Theodore Nott

Star Chart – Autumn Astronomy Prompts – Quadrantids Meteor Shower: (dialogue) "You can't actually be serious about this."


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